Divorce mediation works best when you arrive prepared. Showing up with the right documents and information helps you make informed decisions and move through the process faster.
We at Mediation First NJ LLC see firsthand how preparation changes outcomes. This guide walks you through exactly what to bring to mediation for divorce, from financial records to personal documents that matter.
Financial Documents That Matter Most
Gather your last three years of federal tax returns before mediation starts. Financial documents required by the IRS for accurate income verification, and mediators use it to calculate child support and spousal support obligations. Your tax returns reveal deductions, self-employment income, and investment earnings that pay stubs alone cannot capture.
Bring recent pay stubs from the past three to six months to establish your current income and employment status. If you’re self-employed, compile business income statements and profit-and-loss records for the same three-year period. These documents prevent disputes about earning capacity and allow support calculations to reflect reality, not assumptions.
Bank Accounts and Liquid Assets
Collect statements from all bank accounts, including joint and individual checking, savings, and money market accounts, covering the last six to twelve months. This establishes your cash flow and shows liquid assets available for settlement. Include retirement account statements for 401(k)s, 403(b)s, IRAs, pensions, and any other investment accounts. Retirement assets often represent the largest marital property in a divorce, and accurate valuations prevent costly mistakes during asset division.
Real Estate and Property Values
Obtain current market value appraisals for your primary residence, vacation homes, rental properties, and any land you own. Do not rely on Zillow estimates or tax assessments; mediators need professional appraisals to determine fair distribution. Bring your mortgage statements, home deeds, and any liens or home equity lines of credit attached to the property.
For vehicles, provide titles and registrations, then check Kelley Blue Book for private-party values rather than dealer prices. List personal property like jewelry, art, collectibles, and furniture with approximate values; professional appraisals matter only for items worth more than five hundred dollars.
Debts and a Complete Financial Picture
Document all debts including credit card balances, auto loans, student loans, and private loans with current statements showing balances and terms. Create a single summary document listing every asset and liability with current values and ownership status. Full financial disclosure matters enormously here-hidden assets or vague valuations create the kind of distrust that undermines productive negotiation. This reduces back-and-forth during sessions and keeps discussions focused on negotiation rather than information gathering.
With your financial records organized and ready, you can now turn your attention to the personal and family information that shapes custody arrangements and support decisions.
Personal and Family Information
Children’s documents form the foundation of custody and support decisions, so gather birth certificates, Social Security numbers, and school records for each child before mediation begins. Bring report cards, special education evaluations, and documentation of any ongoing medical or behavioral needs your children have. Schools often hold critical information about learning disabilities, gifted programs, or behavioral concerns that directly affect custody arrangements and educational expense allocations.
Education and Childcare Costs
If your children attend private school, bring tuition statements and enrollment agreements to establish baseline costs for post-divorce budgeting. Compile childcare invoices and receipts showing what you currently spend on care, since these expenses factor into both child support calculations and parenting time arrangements. Documentation of extracurricular activities-sports, music lessons, tutoring-helps mediators understand the full financial picture and how costs will split after divorce.
Healthcare Records and Insurance
Healthcare records matter equally to education documents. Compile insurance policy information, vaccination records, and documentation of any chronic conditions, prescriptions, or ongoing treatments. Mediators need this information to determine who maintains health insurance coverage after divorce and how medical expenses will be split. If one parent has been the primary caregiver managing medical appointments, bring appointment records or communication logs showing this pattern, as it influences parenting time arrangements and decision-making authority.
Life and Property Insurance
Insurance documentation extends beyond health coverage. Bring declarations pages for life insurance policies, showing death benefits and cash surrender values if applicable, since life insurance often secures child support and spousal support obligations. Include homeowners, auto, disability, and umbrella policies to clarify what coverage exists and who maintains it post-divorce.
Documentation of Disputes and Agreements
Communications related to disputes deserve careful organization-gather emails, text messages, or written correspondence documenting conflicts over finances, parenting decisions, or property access. Screenshots of digital communications should be saved with timestamps and context clearly labeled. This documentation prevents one party from misrepresenting past agreements or disputes during negotiation. Create a comprehensive summary document listing every asset and liability with current ownership and value, organized by category. This single document accelerates mediation sessions dramatically by eliminating delays while mediators request clarification on what you already own. Full transparency here builds credibility and demonstrates you’re prepared to reach fair agreements rather than hide information that could surface later and derail settlements.
With your personal and family documents organized, you can now focus on the mental and emotional preparation that shapes how you approach negotiation and decision-making during mediation.
Mental and Emotional Preparation for Mediation
Mediation success depends less on documents than on knowing what you actually want from the agreement. Before your session, write down three to five specific outcomes that matter most to you, then rank them in order of importance. This forces clarity on what is negotiable and what is not. Most people enter mediation with vague hopes for a fair settlement, but mediators move faster when you arrive with concrete priorities. If custody arrangement flexibility ranks higher than maximizing your share of retirement accounts, write that down. If keeping the family home matters more than child support amounts, state it clearly.
This written priority list keeps you grounded during emotionally charged discussions and prevents you from agreeing to terms you regret later. You will face pressure to compromise on everything simultaneously, and having your priorities ranked on paper prevents reactive decisions made in the moment.
Document Your Parenting Time Preferences
Parenting time preferences require the same level of specificity. Do not simply state that you want equal time with your children. Instead, document which days work best for your schedule, which parent typically handles school drop-offs, and how weekends and holidays have been split historically. If one parent has attended every soccer game while the other manages weeknight homework, that pattern matters to custody arrangements and should be documented before mediation starts. Create a calendar showing your current work schedule, commute times, and existing childcare arrangements so the mediator understands the practical constraints on your parenting time. If you work irregular hours or travel for your job, document this clearly.
Calculate Childcare and Educational Expenses
Compile childcare costs from the past year, including invoices for before-school care, after-school programs, summer camps, and babysitting. Childcare costs influence child support obligations and which parent bears specific costs post-divorce. Bring documentation of educational expenses including private school tuition, tutoring fees, and special needs services. These costs often continue after divorce, and mediation is the time to determine who pays for them or how you will split them.
Set Realistic Expectations for Mediation
Your mental preparation means arriving with realistic expectations about what mediation can accomplish and what requires court involvement. Mediation resolves disputes when both parties genuinely want agreement, but if you secretly hope the mediator will force your spouse to accept unfavorable terms, you will waste time and money. Acknowledge what you control and what you cannot control before walking into the session.
Final Thoughts
Organized financial documents, personal records, and clear priorities transform mediation from stressful to manageable. You now understand what to bring to mediation for divorce, from tax returns and bank statements to childcare invoices and parenting schedules. This preparation eliminates delays and prevents disputes about asset values or income that derail negotiations.
Sessions move faster when you arrive with compiled documents and ranked priorities. Mediators spend time facilitating agreement rather than requesting clarification on basic financial facts, and you make better decisions because you understand your complete financial picture. When both spouses demonstrate preparation and transparency, trust builds-hidden assets or vague valuations create suspicion that undermines productive negotiation.
Contact Mediation First NJ LLC to schedule your mediation session and begin reaching agreements that serve your family’s interests without court involvement. Our professional mediators guide you through equitable distribution, custody arrangements, and support obligations while keeping costs lower than litigation. We help you navigate constructive negotiation in a confidential environment tailored to your family’s needs.