The big question that seemingly everyone asks at some point in a relationship is, “Do I feel loved?” or “Do I feel connected in this relationship?” John Lennon and Paul McCartney were right when they wrote “All You Need Is Love” for The Beatles in 1967. All people want and need is some level of validation that includes physical and/or emotional love. Why else would people, at some conscious or subconscious level, say, “I’m aware that people get divorced—maybe my parents, my relatives, my friends—but not me” and then go ahead and get married?
In 2022, there were 2,065,905 marriages. Interestingly, 86% of one or both people in a first marriage who get divorced are remarried within five years. So, those people are saying, “I know people get divorced, and now I just got divorced, but I’ll give it another go.” Why? Because we want love and validation, and we are willing to take the risk despite the scars we may have or may get. People identify with the tradition of marriage.
There is just one problem: love and marriage are not necessarily connected. People can be in a marriage where one or both may not love the other and, in fact, may love someone else. One or both people in a relationship, unmarried, may indeed love each other.
The commitment to marriage is often intertwined with societal expectations, personal aspirations, and a deep-seated desire for companionship. It’s a tradition that many hold dear, believing in its sanctity and the promise it brings. However, the reality is that love, as beautiful and essential as it is, does not always align seamlessly with the institution of marriage.
Marriage involves a complex interplay of emotions, responsibilities, and expectations. It requires ongoing effort, understanding, and communication. Love alone, while a powerful force, may not be sufficient to sustain a marriage if other fundamental aspects are lacking. This is why the journey of marriage can be challenging and requires continuous nurturing and commitment.
Interestingly, the high rate of remarriage among divorced individuals underscores the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring hope for love and companionship. Despite the pain and disillusionment that may come with a failed marriage, many are willing to take the leap again, seeking the fulfillment that comes with a loving and supportive partnership.
The notion that love and marriage are not necessarily connected is crucial in understanding the dynamics of relationships. It’s a reminder that while marriage can be a beautiful expression of love, it is not the only way to experience and cherish love. Love can thrive in various forms and settings, transcending the boundaries of traditional marriage.
In conclusion, the idea that divorce is something that happens to others but not oneself is a common sentiment. However, the reality is that love and marriage are complex and multifaceted. The high rate of remarriage among divorced individuals highlights the persistent desire for love and connection. Understanding that love and marriage are not always synonymous can help individuals navigate their relationships with greater clarity and intention, fostering deeper connections and more meaningful partnerships.